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SHORT STORY |
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Chronicles of a Teenage Job-Hunter
Heather Robinson, 17
New Hampshire
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Day 1
Whoo-hoo! Summer is finally here, and that can mean only one thing: it's time to rake in some cash. I love the feeling of stocking up for the year, and I do it fanatically, like some kind of hyperactive chipmunk preparing for an imminent ice age. I have only one rule when it comes to summer work, and it is this: I will NOT work in retail. No way. I will work for almost anything, doing almost anything, but I will not work in retail. I worked in a grocery store once, and that was enough for me. I cannot do another summer of pretending to care that the celery isn't green enough.
I bet I would be good at receptionist work. I'm friendly, and I can type pretty quickly. Plus, I hear it's good money for sitting at a desk all day. Yeah. I could definitely do that. Well, now that I've made that decision, I think I've done enough for today. Tomorrow, I'll actually start applying.
Day 2
Today's the day I find my job, I can just feel it. I've heard that Craig's List has a nice selection, so I start there.
It's so organized! This'll be easy. First, I check the administrative section, then customer service, then writing and editing. I find four possibilities in the first, three in the second, and one in the third. I reply to each of them with my name, confident-yet-not-cocky statement of qualification, and a reminder that my resume is attached and is certainly worth looking at, and won't someone please do so? I look it over once, quickly, before I send it out. Looks good to me. I expect the interview calls by the end of the week, at latest.
Day 3
No one has called yet, but I'm sure that's just because the companies are so overwhelmed with applications. No biggie. I'll even send out a few more applications, just to be sure. Craig's List has a whole new host of opportunities today. I send out yesterday's e-mail to eighteen new and different companies.
Day 4
Still no calls. Also, realized that of the eighteen e-mails I sent out yesterday, approximately zero had my resume attached. Whoops. That's OK. I sent out another twelve e-mails today (with proper attachments). No sweat. The interviews should start any day now.
Day 7
Nothing. How can I possibly have not received a single response? I have sent out over three dozen applications! Maybe I'm being too narrow in my search. I start looking in the government and restaurant sections of Craig's List. I also start visiting Monster.com. I'm starting to think that Craig's List is some kind of reality-TV scam, and that any day now Ashton Kutcher is going to show up at my door to tell me that I have been Punk'd. There really are no companies at all on the website, and I have been sending my resume to empty mailboxes.
I think too much time on the Internet is making me paranoid.
Day 12
I got an interview! Finally. Not only that, but it is a customer service job where I'll be making $600 a week. I can help people for $600. But my interview is in less than two hours, so I had better make myself decent.
Day 12, Later
That job seemed mildly sketchy, to say the least. After the interview, I think I know less about the job than when I went in. Let me replay for you exactly what happened during the four minutes I spent interviewing:
Interviewer: Hi, Heather. Have any trouble getting here today?
Me: No, I was fine, thank you.
Interviewer: Well we are glad to have you join the team, Heather.
Me: Wait. I already have the job?
Interviewer: (Laughs) Of course not! I was just saying that, if we were hypothetically to hire you, we would be happy that we had.
Me: What?
Interviewer: Now, as I was saying, the job pays good money, and you would be lucky if we were to offer it to you. Do you have any questions?
Me: Um…What exactly would I be doing?
Interviewer: Your salary would not be dependent at all upon you selling things. Anything else?
Me: Uh, no, I guess not.
Interviewer: Well, I suppose we're done here! I, of course, have to check with my higher-ups, but you seem like the perfect candidate for the job.
Me: I do?
Interviewer: Come in tomorrow, at noon. Dress professionally.
Day 13
So I'll be the first to admit that I am desperate. I need money, and that is what this company is offering. So I go and buy myself something "professional" ($42.95 at Dots), and arrive at 11:57 at the office, where I am greeted by my disapproving interviewer (who I learn is named Craig).
"Didn't I say to be here at noon?" Craig asks sternly.
"Yes. It's 11:57." I hope I'm not being disrespectful.
"Here at Golden Circle, we believe in promptness. It is one of our greatest assets, a prompt team of dedicated workers. Are you sure you're up to the challenge, Heather? Because if you're not, we have plenty of other qualified candidates who would love to have the opportunity we're offering you."
I decide that it's futile to point out that 11:57 comes before noon, and just nod agreement, hoping he will take that to mean that I am indeed dedicated to the task of doing…well, whatever it is that we're doing.
"Now, take a seat." I take a seat. "You are all here today because you have proven yourselves." (We have?) "You have shown yourselves to be dedicated, hard workers who care about providing a great product and sales experience." (Wait…I thought no sales?) "And that is why you have been specially chosen to be sales leaders, to bring to the populace our revolutionary new technology. That's right, each of you will spend this summer selling…the bullet-proof vacuum!"
I'm done.
Day 14
Back to the hunt. I enter the nonprofit and hospitality sections of Craig's List.
Day 15
Today, as Mom watched me yell at my silent phone, she took pity on me and suggested I contact a temp agency. Genius! Why didn't I think of that? I need a job temporarily; temp agencies give people temporary jobs! We were meant for each other. I contact six of them.
Day 16
One of the agencies has called me! They don't actually have a job right now, but they do want me to come in for an interview. This could be promising. Thank God I bought that professional outfit.
Day 17
That interview went a lot better than the last one. At least I think I have some idea of what I would be doing if the company finds me a job (namely not selling vacuums). They specialize in receptionist work. Just what I wanted! And it sounds like they may have a position for me soon.
Day 21
I give up. I can't do it anymore. So far, I have spent $82.38 on finding a job, including professional clothing, gas money, and breath mints. The temp agency has nothing. Craig's List has stopped opening on my computer. It's time to toss boundaries out the window. That's right: I'm going to the mall and applying to any store that'll have me.
Day 23
I've done it! I've finally gotten a job, after $94.22, 340 miles, and 3 interviews. For all my hard work, I will spend my summer working in retail at $7.25 an hour. It's good to know that dreams can come true, isn't it?
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